in passing

written early in march:

on a day like today, when i can feel a palpable shift of seasons and the sun still bears down on my shoulders at almost 5 in the afternoon, i tend to consider my options.

there are a hundred ways to look at my situation, most of them through antagonistic lens, but i have been sharpened a little bit to rationalize my circumstances, and if there is one thing i cling on to to preserve my senses, it is the belief that everything happens for a purpose. trite, but the faith in causal reasoning provides huge relief.

the retail environment may have eroded some of my penchant for things beyond ordinary. while luxury items are by no means average, they are still just extraordinary things in an ordinary life. not to say, though, that i wouldn’t shoplift all the handbags nor the shoes in the store if there were no legal implications to such actions. just that i have found a fixed viewpoint after all the years of emotional toil, but i don’t think i have the voice to set it out anymore.

i am still waiting for a shaft of light to find me.


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