light rain

i want to lose my head over getting sick with grief. my throat was parched but blocked, my nostrils were heavily clogged, my ears were hard of hearing when i woke up from a sleep that barely touched surface. i wanted to sulk all day and be sad over my lack of companionship, but i can’t help feeling calm about things. i realized that i had no more house food left and i didn’t have enough cash to make the minimum delivery order footnoted in these fast food fliers. i was too lazy to even put on decent clothes so i can walk to the nearest atm. i called up the neighbor across the street to ask what breakfast they could assemble for me, i’ll just pay whatever. i felt sorry for myself looking at the greasy preparation, all of which i would have relished if i weren’t schizophrenic today, so i took what i couldn’t shovel into my mouth anymore and lay them right in front of the orange cat stretched beneath the pick-up.

i wanted to just stay home and be desperately lonely. it’s overcast, the rain will surely pour in a matter of minutes, this was the best day to be romantically sulky. but i had responsibilities to accomplish. medium-sized shoes to fill in the office. i can’t be neglectful of duty, that’s not my style. my style is to put it off for a while, but not to neglect it altogether. so i called in sick this morning, saying i’m reporting to work after lunch, i’m still nursing a monumental cough you’d think i would expectorate my larynx with this tenaciously gluey phlegm. which is true; although i refused to have the phlegm boost itself up my throat, so when i report to work later in the afternoon, they’d know i’m not kidding about the monumental cough.

so the morning was oil-ridden meat and scrambled eggs for breakfast, a trusty can of coca-cola, some schoolboy’s cartoon network shows and a steady, stalwart drizzle from a solemn gray sky.

it’s such a nice day to be sad.


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