i have learned shortly after the drama and shortly before i solved the rubik’s cube for the first time that that was all just a bunch of crap.
they obviously don’t know me well. i was born skeptical. so when i pushed one of them into a tight corner, she had no other choice but to come clean and rat them all out.
in fairness to those clowns, i give them recognition for the gargantuan effort of cooking up an elaborate plot, crafting a well-thought-of script, and pooling a semi-believable major character. and those sound effects! good god! who would have thought…?!
frankly, i am insulted. not because i have been played for a fool. but by the very mediocrity of the person cast to play me for a fool. she who called me a “looser” and a “waist of time.” who accused me of “nagging” her, who said after all “i pitty you.” to whom i suggested the use spell check and, while she’s at it, consult the dictionary for the meaning of “nag”. she never seemed to catch on for a while… she still amped up the drama like a thoroughbred emo-girl after i said they’ve been busted, big time. then she turned all catty. and didn’t even get the biting sarcasm in the end. at which point, i said to myself i couldn’t possibly be bothered by such dullness.
if he wants a fair fight, he better come up with more artistic, more effective ways to extract our home address. and have someone with better advantages to play his “fiance”.
or better yet, just be nice for a change.
i discovered last week that the rubik’s cube has risen like a phoenix to inflict frustration among the uninspired masses. in a day, i ran into three young persons trying to solve it while 1) waiting in line, 2) eating lunch, and 3) being pulled aside by his mother against the oncoming traffic. the re-trending of rubik’s this year may not be as hot as the last time it hit us in the eighties, but i realized i never got around to trying it before, never had the intention of solving it either, though i have turned a few faces aimlessly with my own hands as a child. so i thought maybe i could try and hack it now.
last weekend, a teacher-friend came home with two rubik’s cubes. an original and a clone. of course, i immediately reached for the original. they were confiscated from students last month, and no one has gotten around to claiming them, not even when she announced their presence in class. so she took them home to torment us, i suppose.
a few minutes every night i would try to solve one. it was easy enough to master one face then another, but obviously, that’s not the technique if you want to solve the whole thing. because, needless to say, once you move on to solving the next face, you would have made a mess of the other one you just completed.
so yesterday, i brought one with me to work. and i would whip it out during breaks. i was finally able to conquer the cube during the afternoon break. the joy is unbearable. i took pictures of it like a blueblooded geek.
(feels like dumb luck. only way to find out if it’s not, is if i do it again on the other cube. which i’m trying to solve now…)
march 1. he texts me to invite me to his wedding in june. apparently a pathetic attempt to make me feel jealous. sorry no cigar. so he lets his secretary call me up to ask me again. she goes on to tell me that the girl is tall and gorgeous, like a beauty queen. she is in labor with their child, 7cm dilation. obviously his words. i ask her to kindly relay the message to her boss: go to hell.
he has dinner with elite showbiz couple in a swanky hotel. they all laugh at my daughter’s photo. i curse the showbiz couple: they’re faces will be mangled beyond recognition in a freak accident.
march 2. his staff tells me we should meet somewhere. i’m cool with that. but around the time we planned to meet, she texts that she can’t extricate herself from the guy’s company. she’s with him and his fiance, looking at houses in this high-end village. they are going to purchase the eight-bedroom, with swimming pool, with tennis court, some sort of mansion. again, obviously his words. i tell her to relay this message: i am not impressed, son of a bitch.
later at night she warns me that the fiance’s father works for the department of justice and they’ll come for me. they even have bodyguards. oh yeah, so what? like that empty threat would work on me. please relay this message: bring it on, scumbag.
march 8. the clearly distraught fiance suddenly calls me up. am i supposed to gasp here? she discovers many things that no decent, mortal woman should endure while pregnant (yes, she’s still in the first trimester, fuck 7cm dilation last week, what a bunch of amateurs). and i also discover that what they’ve been telling me (above) are all a pack of lies. hey, fiance girl, he even invited me to your wedding. how’s that for sport?
she calls me a few more times. in the background i hear him yell at her. he calls me himself in between all this. in this background, i hear her yell at him. i begin to wonder, how on earth does she put up with him? why does she put up with him?
well, she was unbelievably kind though. then she says she wants to see the kid. i think, what for? so i made all sorts of eloquent yet kind statements, altogether with a bottom line of forget it.
march 10. he texts me some incredibly lowdown statements at dawn. i reply with equally lowdown words as soon as i get up.
he lets his secretary call me in the morning to relay his verbal harassment. i tell her she’s just as bad for following her boss’ idiotic orders. now don’t pretend you’re concerned because you’re a liar just the same. now, beat it. my life is quiet, don’t make a mess of it.
the entire day the guy and i volley fusillage of ascerbic comments. all of them below the belt. now why don’t i be the mature one in all this? because i intend to be mean too.
to break the blows, i text the fiance to kindly tell her husband to stop bugging me and get a life. he is insignificant to us so he better just shut up. we don’t give a damn about his money, he can take them all to hell where he belongs.
so with the ensuing of this drama, eddie murphy lost a fan in me. and i’m rooting whole-heartedly for melanie brown.
today, we’re moving to the main office. last january, we have been warned about this impending transfer, but we’ve been expecting it no sooner than september (that’s when the lease contract expires after all). suddenly last week, they said we have to move by friday this week. suddenly yesterday, they said we have to move today. and that just sucks eggs.
all my life we’ve been moving around from house to house, i have been relocated a few times, so this shouldn’t be a big deal to me. but i still happen to hate packing up all my belongings to transfer them to another location. i just never got the hang of it. and i especially hate it if i had to be rushed about it.
i don’t want to leave. i like this office. and i hate the other one. for many various reasons.
but what really gets to me is this: one of the building’s janitor moonlights as our office janitor 3 days every week. he tidies up our place in the afternoons, usually starting at 5 onwards. he gets approximately P250 every week to do this. but he’s going to lose that extra money because we’re leaving. and that’s a big deal to him. he came by this morning asking for a reschedule of his cleaning hours today because there has been a change in his shift this week. that’s when i realized, due to the suddenness of everything, no one has come around to tell him we won’t be needing his services any longer. so when my co-worker tells him, i cannot help but feel absolutely heartbroken while he keeps up with trying to sound ok about it, smiling through staccato words and nodding at me when i glanced his way. we happen to like this man. he is a very pleasant person to be around with. and it really hurts to leave him behind.
my week is ruined. what the heck, i bet the rest of my days is ruined. i just don’t like the location of the other office. and that’s that.
